2011 has been expensive so far. A new motor for the heating system, five pounds a day in coal during the two weeks said heating system was out of order. Boat insurance circa four hundred pounds, three hundred and fifty pounds to get car through the MOT, another case of "your not from round here" methinks...! To top it all off one of the breakfast bar stools has collapsed meaning that one of us has to eat standing up until we can afford a new one. This coupled with me having flu for the best part of three weeks, a gig we had bought tickets for being cancelled without a refund in the offing and it's not been the best start! We must have wasted a small fortune on scratch cards since Christmas. Yes, we know it's a mugs game but somebodies got win! I only buy them when I get 'the feeling' You know the one, your mind tells you today is the day something good is going to happen. The shopping at Asda leaves you with a quid or so change, it burns a small hole in the palm of your hand, you approach the exit with the intention of leaving and keeping the pound but that little voice pops into your head "maybe today is the day?". " You got to be in it to win it"! That's it they've got you! You stand in line with the rest of the gamblers and feel the shame. You know the checkout attendant is thinking "This is becoming a regular occurrence". She / he probably more likely to be thinking about what's for tea but the shame of playing the mugs game makes you somewhat paranoid. You peruse the tickets on display and hope that the one pound option stands out and says "I'm a winner!". The two pound option is usually the one though, more chances to win and bigger prizes! There's always someone in front buying the five pound option. I once watched a man who must have been well into his seventies. He was holding up the queue with his shopping list of lottery cards, cigarettes and scratch cards. The last thing on his list was three five pound scratch cards. It made me think. What makes a man that age so desperate to win some money he spends most of his pension on gambling? I know nothing of his personal circumstances. He may have been buying for others, either way a lot of money passed that counter heading for the National Lottery that day. I hope he won. I would like nothing better than to imagine him sat on a deckchair somewhere a little more exotic than Brighton Pier, champagne in one hand and a big cigar in the other! I suppose my scratch card habit is not that extreme we can afford the odd pound every now and then. It's more the illusion that all our problems can be solved by winning money instead of earning it! It's the mentality that says "I only need five grand just to sort that bill out". What happens next year when there's another big bill? Or when the bills are no problem you just feel that life would be better if you could afford that exotic holiday, that bigger car or that apartment by the sea? Everyday the lottery sells these dreams to millions of people and most of us are lured in and have a flutter. I'll try my best not to become the one buying the five pound scratch cards and spending all Martyn's hard earned cash on gambling...!
By now I imagine you're all thinking "Why don't you get out there and get a job you lazy bugger...!". The truth is I have applied for that many jobs this year I can't actually remember what half of them were for! I have another three to apply for this week. It's not my favourite pastime I must say. I am not the best at trying to sell myself. The jobs are mainly for the Universities, some of the jobs are in the same departments so trying to vary the applications is difficult at times. I would love to work part time if possible. It appears that lots of other people would too. I have started writing about our boating life and would love to be able to continue with that if possible. I would also still love to study photography when I can afford the course. It's all a vicious circle at the moment but I'm sure we will get there. Most of all I'm looking forward to the day that Martyn can start to enjoy some of his hard earned money instead of watching every penny. You never know, we might just be the lucky winners one day...!
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